This is India, Man!

The Coconut Guy cutting a spoon out of the shell.
What a Champ! 

I have heard Rajiv say that same phrase so many times over the last few days.  The first time he said it was Tuesday morning, my first morning in India.  I was surprised to see a man selling coconut water on the street.  Basically, the man takes a young coconut (which is filled with coconut-flavored water; it's much lighter than coconut milk), shaves part of the top off, cuts a hole in it, and sticks a straw in it.  Now there are two types of these coconuts: ones with some coconut meat on the inside, and ones without it.  He can tell the difference just by tapping on the coconut.  The first day, I had one without the meat, and the second day I had it with.  Upon having the second kind, I became very confused; I couldn't tell the difference between the different types.  When I finished drinking the coconut water, however, he took the coconut from me, cut a much larger hole into the top, scraped the meat off the walls of the coconut, and sliced a spoon out of the outside of the coconut.  The coconut was simultaneousness the food, the bowl, and the spoon.  That is this guy's job.  What an awesome way to make a living!  And know how much it costs?  Only 15 rupees.  30 cents.  To make things better, he delivers them to your house.  Yes, I get fresh coconuts delivered every morning.  This is India, man!

Chillin with the Coconut Guy

The first morning, after breakfast, we went to get lunch at a very good restaurant called Cafe Madrás.  For breakfast, we each got idlis, mysore dosa, and coffee.  Delicious food, and as soon as we finished each item (literally seconds later), the waiter was there to pick up our dishes and ask if we wanted anything else.  We were in the restaurant for a total of 18 minutes.  I am not sure how they managed to prepare and serve fresh food so quickly, but hey, I am not complaining.  Another interesting fact about the restaurant- even though there are tables, there is no such thing as "one party to a table".  If there is a seat available, and someone wants to eat, they are seated there.  We had three different parties sitting at our 4-person table.  Pretty cool.  Total cost of our meal?  Including a 20% tip, 90 rupees.  That is $2.  For the both of us.  This is India, man!

Another time we went to a restaurant, I ordered mysore rava dosa, but after I ordered, I decided that I wanted masala with it as well.  (Masala is a potato filling which you can get with dosa.  I will have a whole post on food soon, so don't worry!)  The next time the waiter walked by, I asked him to bring some masala on the side.  Well, my dosa came out a few minutes later, but not the masala.  When the waiter walked by a few seconds later, Rajiv asked again in Hindi for him to bring me some masala.  A minute later, when the waiter walked by without it, another man at my table flagged down the waiter and yelled at him; this man, whom I had never met nor spoken to before, was extremely irritated because I did not get my masala yet.  15 seconds later, my masala arrived.  This is India, man!

One day we were walking to the bank to set up an account for me, when a man yelled to Rajiv and they spoke for a good five minutes.  The entire conversation was in Hindi, but apparently it went something like this:  This man had seen Rajiv in the market a few times, and one time Rajiv was speaking to one of this man's friends.  Therefore, this stranger wanted to introduce himself and meet Rajiv.  He told Rajiv where he lives so that if Rajiv were ever in the area and needed anything, he should just come over and ask.  This stranger then went on to invite Rajiv over to his apartment for lunch, right then and there.  Rajiv declined, because we had things to do, but that is incredible.  That would never happen in America.  This is India, man!

A few days before I arrived in India, something similar happened to Rajiv.  He was on his way to VJTI (Veermata Jijabai Technological Institute, the university at which Rajiv is teaching), when a man and his wife stopped him in the street.  They had seen Rajiv enter the university a few times over the last few days, and they were extremely confused.  He was wearing shorts, so he couldn't be a faculty, but he looked too old to be a student.  After seeing him a few times, the man decided that he needed to stop Rajiv and find out who exactly he is.  They spoke in the street for over an hour, and they invited Rajiv over to their apartment for dinner.  This is India, man!

Back in December, Rajiv sent me an email informing me that I had to be careful crossing the street.  I chuckled to myself; it can't be that bad, right?  Wrong.  First of all, the roads are very wide, maybe 4 lanes across, yet there are no actual lanes painted on the road.  People drive wherever there is space.  For this reason alone, there are a lot of motorcycles; there isn't a lot of space on the roads, and since motorcycles are smaller, it is easier to weave in and out of traffic with them.  Oh, another thing I learned- motorcycles can fit more than 2 people.  Apparently they can fit a family of four, sometimes more.  And helmets?  No way.  One good/slightly annoying thing is that everyone honks their horn.  All the time.  There is rarely a moment between 7 AM and 7 PM when I do not hear a car horn.  Well, okay Sean, that doesn't sound THAT crazy.  So what, no lanes.  Just cross the street at a red light!  I would, if cars ever stopped.  Yes, there are traffic lights, but nobody ever follows them.  NOBODY.  If there is a red light, it's not like one car will run the light.  Every single car will run the light.  Every.  Single.  One.  Traffic will just keep going until there is a small opening and the cars from the side street decide to go.  This is not Haddonfield.  There is no such thing as "yielding to pedestrians".  Might is Right.  The bigger the vehicle, the crazier they will drive.  If you venture out into the street, and there is a car in the distance headed in your direction, they will speed up.  Not because they want to hit you, they just want to time it perfectly so that as soon as you cross their path, they are whizzing by you.  Its especially scary when that vehicle happens to be a bulldozer.  This is India, man!

What I love most about India is the general attitude about life.  Even though I have not encountered anyone who is rich, people are not overly concerned with money.  For instance, the coconut man has never asked for money; when you ask "How much?", he will tell you.  Even though that is how he makes a living, he is more concerned about you enjoying his coconut water.  In fact, that is EXACTLY what I love; people want to do whatever they can to see others happy.  One night, Rajiv and I went out to the market to get some street food for dinner.  I ordered a Veggie Toast sandwich from one stand, and as it was heating up, he got some pani puri from another stand a block away.  Pani puri is basically a fried shell filled with chick peas and spicy water.  Anyways, as Rajiv was eating them, he began talking in Hindi to one of the kids working there.  The kid asked if I wanted some pani puri, but Rajiv told him that I cannot have them yet because of the water;  I don't want to get sick from the water this early on.  The kid then asked what I was going to have for dinner- it was already 8:50 and everything would close in 10 minutes.  Rajiv then told him that I was going to have a sandwich.  Concerned about the time constraint, the kid asked Rajiv if we wanted him to run over to the sandwich stall and order me a sandwich.  Rajiv laughed and informed him that we already ordered it, we were just waiting for it to finish toasting.  Relieved, the kid filled up a shell with some of the chick pea filling, and handed it to me without the spicy water.  "I can't let you leave empty handed."  This is India, man.